Or at least I am.. You know I have always worried that something would happen to me and be taken away from my girls or something happen to one of my girls. It is a scary feeling that will always be with me.
Scott says I am going to have a heart attack by the age of 30. My kids are my world and they mean so much to me if you couldn’t guess.
When I took Madisyn into the Dr. Monday I figured we would be told yes you are an overprotective parent you can go home now. Let me go back a little bit. When Madisyn was 4 months old her head started growing at an enormous speed. Well off the charts. We waited till her 6 month appt as per request of her dr before we would pursue any testing. We had an ultrasound and it showed a cyst in her head. I just cried when the dr called me with the results. She said don’t worry too much we are going to go in for a CT Scan.
They said she would have to be sedated and I did not want my baby sedated. I sat there and rocked her till she fell asleep. They called us back and I said she is already asleep if we could go and do the test now. I put her down in the machine and held her tight and practically was half way in the machine with her. She never once woke up. I was so happy that she didn’t have to be sedated.
Those results showed fluid around her brain so off to a neurosurgeon we went. We went there for 3 appts and he pretty much just kept measuring her head and saying it looked like it was going on track so I made the executive decision to not go back. I just knew my baby was fine.
Past forward 2 years this past Monday. We went in and Madisyn is way off the charts again measuring as a 8 1/2 year old. The pediatrician says this calls for another CT Scan. I ‘m so scared. Deep down I believe everything is going to be ok and that it is just genetics that she is going to be big. But still the fear of the unknown worries me. We go in tomorrow and I have her a surprise.. Disney Princess Toddler Skates that she has been asking for forever. I just had to get my brave girl something to let her know how proud of her I am.
I’m going to try and put a smile on for my little girl and make it a great adventure for her so she will not be scared of the machine. While all the while deep down I will be crying inside and worrying until I hear the final results. Please Lord let her be ok and nothing alarming. Let the cyst and fluid be gone.
Madisyn mommy loves you so much and you just light up my world little sunshine with your little sissy. I thank the Good Lord for giving me you two beautiful girls. Hang in there sweetie and we will get through this together.
Hang in there mama.